sledding!!!

omgosh. i have been sledding plenty of times, but tonight was by far the best. if you are in or around Rochester, i highly recommend Cobb’s Hill Park to you as an excellent sledding venue.

the best part was the following: someone had built a jump previously today, and, after much coaxing, i finally agreed to try to make it over the jump. i did, and flew what was an apparently impressive distance above the snow before realizing i would fall, and need to not do so on my face. i landed amicably on my shoulder.

the second run of the jump went like this: ‘anna, go down the jump again!’ ‘no, that hurts me. i don’t need to get broken!’ ‘please! but it would bring us so much enjoyment!’ [i’m not even making this up.] then salim lied down behind the jump, so i could fly over him evel kneivel style. i climbed back on my sled, soared down toward the jump, and, so worried that i would mess it up and completely squish poor salim, forgot to land properly, which knocked the wind quite out of me.

but it was freaking awesome.

[in the interest of not feeling like i plagiarized myself, i should say i also posted this in my tumblr.]

solos grow like trees

tonight we went to the cincinnati symphony where they performed 'life and death' (strauss), 'on the transmigration of souls' (john adams), and 'the dharma at big sur' (adams) with *drum roll please* john adams conducting! the strauss was beautiful, and adams was full of life leading the orchestra. the second piece, 'on the transmigration of souls,' was simply stunning. it was my favorite of the three. it was deep and meaningful without being too much, and featured the may festival choir, children's chorus, and pre-recorded city sounds/voices in addition to the orchestra. it was sometimes disjointed (as i'm sure was adams' intention), and the voices over the loudspeaker with sounds, names of those missing from 9/11, and quotes from the same event added a poignant and sometimes unsettling note to the music. the last piece, 'the dharma at big sur,' was a piece for orchestra and electric violin. the whole piece had a feeling of improvisation, which was fascinating. the solo line rose over the orchestra and practically grew like a sapling out of the featured violinist, who was dressed in a vibrant orange dress. it was wonderful.

juno

first of all, if you haven't seen that movie, go see it. i really enjoyed it.

second of all, one quote from that movie has stuck out in my mind has stuck out in my mind and i keep thinking about it:

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your [rear]. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

[mac macguff, juno]

i keep thinking about this quote because this is what i want. someone to love me all the time, no matter what, and it is important that i don't settle or wish for things i can't have. because sometimes if you want something you shouldn't have, you don't realize there are probably better things waiting. and i want the better things.

also, i changed the swearword in there to 'rear' since i gave up swearing for lent and 'rear' is a funny word.

i want the better things.

thoughts in the car

how deeply must it wound our God when we distrust His strength and timing?

it is important that i enjoy this season of singularity [well, 'singleness,' but i enjoy the term 'singularity']. it will [hopefully] not last forever, but while it persists, i must use my freedom for good and bask in every second of it. this is a truly exceptional time in my life, and i must 'suck the marrow out' of every moment, as this season will eventually change to the next.

i really need to get better at quiet time/devotions. i always have good intentions, but i lack follow-through.

blah, blahg, blog

i know all i do is whine about my self in this blog. sorry everyone. but basically, this is my blog, and no one's making you read it. woot.

ever have a dream where you kiss someone you know or fall in love with a stranger? and then you wake up and you're slightly cranky because it didn't really happen? last night i had the former, and was kissing someone i used to kiss quite a bit. anyway, for some reason, this has made me feel like everyone is falling in love and maybe it's not in my cards. which brings on the being bummed out. i guess i think i will fall in love someday, but i still have trouble imagining someone falling in love with me. does that make sense? i'm sure i've written about this before, but i mean, if i think about all the times i've really liked someone...i guess i just have a hard time imagining someone liking as many things about me. i don't know. blah blah blah. i'm whiny tonight.

i miss being at school. well, not so much the stress levels, but the friends.

dear my heart,
please turn off until it's time to really fall in love. PLEASE. it's really no use for you to be pining away over some imaginary man in the meantime. so knock it off!
love,
me

less than 12 hours after i woke up today

i am heading to bed.

big scary audition tomorrow!

lots to do

it is 64 degrees here! weird.

in other news, i have things to do today [dr.'s to call and beg to see me, practicing to do, hours to waste watching television]. also, i am hungry. it is after noon and i haven't eaten anything yet. which is probably due to the fact that i didn't wake up until 11:30. breaks are nice, i suppose, i just hope i can get to bed at a decent hour tonight as my curtis audition is tomorrow *faints*.

this post is completely pointless. i hope you enjoyed it. :-)

long day

so it's been perhaps the longest day i've had in a long time, but it is nearly over! my audition went pretty well, so that's exciting. my "look at me!" moment of the day:
hours after my audition, steven needed to warm up with his accompanist, and i needed to hand in a form, and as i was leaving the office, a lady stopped me in the hallway [i later discovered this lady was the head of the voice department] and said "thank you for singing for us today! it was lovely!" and i, flabbergasted, managed a "thank you very much!" in reply. mind you, i was wearing my glasses [which i hadn't had on during my audition] and a completely different outfit and a coat, and she remembered me. [i hope she didn't think i was someone else :-P]
anyway, that was cool. we'll see what happens.

my goal in auditioning is just to know that i did the best i could have done, and i'm 2 for 2 in that regard. steven pointed out some things that i can work on, which i appreciated. it's been so good spending time with him and kind of 'talking shop' and rep and all that. he keeps saying things like, 'this is what your life will be like when you come to michigan,' and then i laugh, because, who knows? i can't wait til this is all over and i know where the heck i'm going!
but at the same time...it's kind of exciting.

fixing a broken heart

this is a picture of steve tonight when he was soldering my 'broken heart' [cookie cutter] back together.
what a good friend.

gush, gush, gush

ugh. i have sucked at posting lately. things have been busy. my eastman audition was friday, temple was supposed to be today but i canceled (postponed?) it. so now i have to get all my orchestration homework/reading done before tomorrow. it's not even 11 yet, so i think i'm ok.

lately my heart has been at a weird intersection. for one, i've been far too busy to really have time to think about being lonely. also, i've been feeling really supported by my God, which is an amazing feeling and helps the heart immensely. however, i am sometimes lonely. despite the intense love i feel daily from my friends, i miss feeling like i'm above-and-beyond-special to someone, you know? i miss little "just thinking of you"s and being snuggled. oh, how i could use a good cuddle!

overall, i promise, i am so happy with life. it is so rich and full of meaning and love. my friends are more amazing than i can ever remember imagining or wishing for, and these "brothers" i have gained are...well, i have no words. i feel like i'm always gushing about them, but seriously, how much luckier could a girl get?

also, i would like to say this: how freaking amazing is Jesus? um, freaking amazing. it is so amazing to me how much i've changed in the past 6 months even. at the beginning of the summer, i was miss wild-child, i'm-going-to-be-crazy-and-you-can't-stop-me, and now, i just feel so much more content with life and i feel like i don't need to be crazy. i don't know if this even makes sense, but i am really appreciating feeling like i can really trust in the Lord. that phrase always seemed kind of overused, but really, the Lord is stronger than i could ever want to be, and if He can't handle it, help me get through whatever, help me have patience, help me get into grad school, help me pay for grad school...if He can't, then who? it is in His hands.

my voice teacher always prays that doors He wants open will open so no one will be able to shut them, and that doors He wants closed will be closed so that no one could open them.
that is my prayer too.

great day

i had a surprisingly awesome day auditioning. the meetings were pretty normal this morning, and i made friends with 5 other grad applicants who are seriously awesome people (some of whom i'll see at upcoming auditions!).

now i get to go relax a little before rehearsal tonight!!

first audition today!

at eastman. i'm in for a long day of sweaty palms, i think. i'm mostly excited, but there are always a healthy amount of nerves involved.

prayers appreciated! have a lovely day!!

thank you

...to the boys [er, men] who have so changed me this year and are so encouraging. i just got back from particularly peaceful time with them at the house.

i will never be able to explain to them how much they mean to me, or what it means to me that they care for me so much, or how much it means that they let me be at home in their home.

it is more than i could ask for.

sidenote -- one of my very best friends in the entire world called me today and we got to catch up for a solid 35 minutes. it was much-needed and completely wonderful. she is falling in love [probably], and i am so excited for her! she also used the phrase [and this is a direct quote!]: 'gnostic dualism of the Christian sub-culture' when discussing her thoughts about kissing.
that is why i love her.

it's a crazy world

indeed.

it's already february. [how did that happen!?] my first audition is this friday, at eastman, and then it's successive stressing out every 3 or so days for the next 2 weeks. and then it will be over. the relief is almost palpable. luckily, my voice teacher and i have been making some real progress lately, which unfortunately means reworking a lot of things, but is totally worth it in the process. she is pushing me harder than i sometimes like, but i need it and boy, is it paying off. this is exciting stuff. [you can take my word for it.]

this weekend was less than relaxing; though i did have a little time to just chill out, i generally did not get enough sleep and was running around trying to get everything done. however, i did have a really great time watching the superbowl with a good friend [whose poor heart was crushed at the outcome] at rit with a bunch of nerdy [but really nice!] boys [who, coincidentally, almost all had really terrible haircuts. just an observation]. there were about 20 people there, and i single-handedly made up half the female population. represent.

i've also started 'tumbling.' i think i am not going to post the link [at least right now], so i can keep things tidy and separated [plus also write whatever dumb thing pops in my heads over there!]. and now i must go study mozart before i fall asleep. goodnight, dear reader[s].