how did i get this old?

i know. i get it. birthdays come every year. i am one of those obnoxious people who just love birthdays. my own birthdays, other people's birthdays, everything. obviously, i am usually far more excited about my own birthday because...well, the day is all about me.
i feel like i'm silly for loving birthdays so much. am i all the sudden too old to be excited to get older? sure, the future is scary, but i am still so excited for what it has to bring. i feel like my best years are still to come. i am constantly growing, figuring myself out, and i feel like there must come a point where i feel grown up. ...right?
will i get to that point where i feel like i have things figured out? is there a plan that will slowly materialized as i embark toward the future? i like to think so. i like to think it will all work out for the best and make sense at some point. i like to think that i will indeed fall deeply in love with some wonderful man some day. i like to think that security and total happiness are just around the corner. they are.
what i forget sometimes, though, is that security and total happiness are already here in a lot of ways. in michael cunningham's book the hours, there is a scene in which clarissa, "mrs. dalloway," describes a moment in her youth where she believed that happiness was just about to materialize, but, she reflects, that was the happiness. that moment. that was it. so, with this lesson, i am, in my youth, being very careful not to put all of my hopes into some time in the future where life will be bliss, but instead to treasure each moment and each experience and learn as much as i can and love God as much as i can and have as much fun as life can have.
all this to say that i am still excited for birthdays. only 30 minutes left in this year's birthday -- it flew by! i don't care if my peers from here on out are less than excited to be getting older, i hope i never lose that.