newness

time to write about something happy and hopeful. i am who i'm meant to be, and it's time to move on from sadness.

news of the hour: i love to sing. no really, i love it. i just performed in an opera scene, my very first, the third act of puccini's boheme, and even though i was on stage a grand total of 4 minutes, i am hooked. for life.

ever since i started college, i've been wishy-washy about being a performance major. i knew i didn't want to teach music, and i knew i didn't want to just get a BA, so i settled for performance. i was also pretty sure this was what God wanted. but here's the thing--i never really thought about pursuing performance as a serious career. it was going to be too hard and too scary and too not-normal.

but after this amazing experience working with super-talented singers with sets and make-up and costumes and diction coachings and singing with my whole self...i can do nothing else. it's not just something i want to do, but opera has finally become something i must do.

i've been feeling this way more and more this week, getting ready for tonight, but this evening, as i was standing in constance's studio after warming up, i told her my newfound determination and drive, and i burst into tears. i completely lost it. i just stood there, weeping like a baby, because i know deep inside of me that it is meant to be.

and i have such a peace.