i am a new creation

i have never felt so new. in recent weeks, my life has changed in an almost non-noticeable way, but i feel like a completely different person. my twisted "romance" with j has at last come to a very final conclusion, and thus i am freed from the hiding from God that i have been doing the past year. knowing He disapproved of my actions, i could barely bring myself to speak to Him and i certainly couldn't ask Him for His blessing or anything, and thus, my walk with the Lord suffered greatly. now i feel like i can freely praise Him, bring to Him my deepest cares, and be happy in His love. even my cynicism is slowly melting, and i know that God is God, and that is that.

it is the greatest feeling in the world.

this doesn't by any means mean that i am perfect. but i am perfect in His love. i am perfectly content with my life the way it is right this second. i am perfectly willing to take the path He wants for me in this life. i am happy in my singleness, having that tiny bit of extra time to hang out with my Jesus. not that i do a terribly wonderful job of making time for Him still, but we are constantly chatting throughout the day, and i know that He loves me more than ever.

someday sometime somewhere i will be perfect for someone and he will be perfect for me too. but not yet. and not soon.

i just love Jesus so much.