there's never any time!

"i don't have time to study! i 'll never get into Stanford! i'll let everyone down; i'm so confused!"
oh Jessie Spano... i'm sure you've seen this episode of saved by the bell. as silly as it sounds, i can definitely relate with Ms. Spano's dilemma. surely there are not enough hours in the day to study, practice, get enough sleep, and have some semblance of a social life. at this point, just to keep from double-booking myself is a feat in itself.

lately, i've been in overdrive. since the beginning of the semester, my body could sense crunch-time, and it gets confused. in my last post i talked about how my heart feels heavy sometimes--i think that must be stress-related too. i feel like i shouldn't have to try to squeeze in working 20 hours a week in the office, practicing as many hours, plus attending all my classes, ensembles, lessons, and trying to get into grad school into one short span of my life. i feel like i don't have enough time to complete things. how can it be healthy for me to be GO GO GO from 9am to 10pm? luckily i do schedule some fun things each week [dancing, meals with people i enjoy, the occasional trip to the coffee shop down the road, now blogging again], but i still always feel like i should probably be practicing or rewriting french questions or filling out the grad apps for which the deadline is rapidly approaching.

pardon the cliché, but life is moving at a thousand miles a minute. i'll go from undergrad to graduate school to artist's diploma [hopefully] to career [hopefully] and then it's full speed ahead from then on out. when is the sabbath? will i have time to experience other parts of life? will i have time to travel? read a good book? fall in love [big "if" attached]? have a family [far away in the future]?

"i'm so excited! i'm so excited! i'm so...scared!"